"Mom, I'm ready for the world to be over.
I'm ready to see God." - Conley Scout, age 4
Granted, this just came from a kid, who, the day before told me he didn't know if God was real or not. Because he couldn't see him. Despite the slight panic that sat in after hearing these words from a kid who has been raised in church & who was just exiting bible school, I love his honesty. I reeled myself in with the fact that he doesn't just swallow everything he is told, he is going to search it out for himself. I love his precious child-like curiosity (though, admittedly not so precious at times, if you know my Conley Scout!) and I am amazed at seeing him grow to learn and understand God.
Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. Phil 2:12 (One of my favorite verses as someone who had trouble doubting my own salvation)
You know, to carry on this blog "today" (as in the year 2020), a post like "Friday Favorites" just seems calloused. It seems disconnected from not just what is going on in the world, but what has went on in my own world. Everything HAS been turned upside down, but I refuse to change my perspective.
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When a person anonymously sends your broken hearted mother a letter in the mail claiming she has deserted her son and is only "acting" like she cares by sharing her heart, it's hard not to lose all respect for humanity. You see your mother in torment daily without that letter, speechless, without a tear left to cry. And then have to live with such cruel words.
When a man, who just like this person who sent the letter-knows nothing about my family and what we have been through with our experience dealing with drug addiction, walks up to my dad, and tells him he was too hard on my brother-and you have seen your dad blame himself every second, cry all day, talk about your brother endlessly, and then have to deal with a remark such as that...it's hard not to want to completely lose it on people.
How can we be so cruel?
Please pray for us to be able to forgive these people and not respond with the same behavior.
I'm off social media for now. As far as I'm concerned with Facebook, as it's there that tends to be the most nasty narratives. I know, "never say never." I'm just done with it right now. How do you feel about it these days? Let me tell you, I wanted nothing more than to go tell the world off yesterday when my mother called us in the state she was in after getting this in the mail...
I have had a heavy heart in general, ironically, especially in the last week with all the posts on social media, as I have never seen such backbiting, hurt, malice, hatred, arguments, and darkness overcome people at this time in our world. And then to see my own family drug into it after a tragedy came our way...I do not choose to be a part of it or to be effected by it. I will be here. And if someone doesn't like what I post, please do not type in this url.
I'm thankful I have a reason and a purpose to be here regularly again.
I never had time, but I've gained a lot back from not scrolling that hurtful place.
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As long as I can hold on to the promises I have from God's word, and draw from the lighthearted days and experiences of my own childhood, I choose to try my hardest to allow my children to grow up in something similar. And for us, as adults, I'm not going to have you come here on my little space on the web to read "doom & gloom." It will be a bright little spot.
Bright, but not ignorant to what's going on around us.
Is that possible? I'm going to try for that anyway.
I will choose to fill up my space with encouragement, escape, love, and of course my kids. And more kids. Okay, if you don't like kids, or kid stories, you probably won't want to stop by anytime soon! Haha.
I will talk about things I am loving, lessons I have learned.
I will talk about God.
I will talk about Christmas. And fall. Of course.
I will talk about things that don't matter in the big scheme of life.
Lastly, with God's help I will promise you this... you won't come here to find me putting someone else down or stating my opinions and beliefs while belittling yours. And that's only by God's help, because I know we all struggle with saying and doing the right things.
Now get off here, shed some sunlight on another person & go watch Christmas in July or plan your Halloween costumes. Times a' ticking & we've got a lot of nonsense sunny stuff to focus on before we "see God soon.":)
