Welcome, 2021

 Happy 2021❤️

My devotion this morning spoke of joy & how it is something that happens when we dwell on our blessings and giving thanks.  Despite the state of our world or anything else, it is a happy 2021 because God is with us, he will never leave us or forsake us!  And HE is our peace😊

Thanksgiving 2020

It's been a long time since I've posted.  It's super hard to work completely online & then desire to find more time to spend in front of a screen.  I thought I'd hope on and do a photo dump of sorts to share/document a little of life since I last posted.

Thanksgiving was my brothers 31st birthday.  It was a bittersweet day & my mom didn't want to spend it at home.  It just brought back too many memories.  So we had a small gathering at our house.  It was so nice & fitting for this year.  I know most people had a different kind of Thanksgiving this year.  

Matchy matchy🤗

My cheesecake tradition on Thanksgiving Eve failed this year.  But I still tried!

My baked brie however turned out to be a hit!

Christmas 2021 may have been one of my favorite Christmases with the kids.  It was sad without my brother.  Lots of memories flooded back to me of Christmases in our childhood past.  All I knew to do was celebrate the fact that he was celebrating this year WITH Jesus.  We cannot imagine what a Christmas Day like that would be like can we?  Thankful.

Throughout December, we had elf shenanigans all month long (this may be the last one with both believing-I'm just trying to prepare myself-Cam will be EIGHT going on NINE next year...

11th anniversary this December❤️

), we had Christmas Evening Service at our church, Carols & Cookies on the last day of MDO, lots of ugly Christmas sweaters and Christmas PJ's, & last minute Christmas shopping.  I *think* I'm getting better at it?  I've never been a good gift giver on my own, but Cade is an expert helper & together I think we come up with great ideas🎅🏻

Something about this Christmas felt magical.  Christmas Eve morning was slow (which NEVER happens).  So slow in fact, that I got to make coffee, whip up our Cinnamon Rolls to have ready to go for Christmas morning.  We got everyone ready & got the most last minute pictures with Santa appointment ever.  Idk how we did it, but we managed to squeeze all of that in before we went to North Carolina to begin Christmas Eve gatherings.

As we made our final stop at Target on the way home, we passed a salt truck hard at work in the 55 degree weather.  Cade & I poked fun of the Southern ways with "a chance" of snow & made our way across the Dragon to the mountains we call home.

First stop, my nana & papa's house.  We were late, everyone had already eaten -BUT just in time for White Elephant (yet we still somehow controversially I'm sure call it "Chinese Christmas").  We ate, we laughed, we opened gifts, and ate some more.  It wasn't too long after that we began to see snow beginning to fall.  Excitement all around.  We ran outside & jumped up and down-a snow on Christmas in the South is RARE.  Pretty soon, we noticed it had covered the porch.  Cade looked at me & proposed we head on to his mom & dad's "just in case."  By the time we got on the road we KNEW things weren't good.  We ended up hurrying in & hugging everyone and postponing that gathering in an effort to make it home before things got worse.

You know how it is when kids are little...Santa was coming tonight!

We wanted to make it home if at all possible-and snow was typically not dangerous in our parts-only ice.

We started home the TN mountain way, which is typically the quickest.  We were doing pretty good until we lost our momentum after a tree had fallen in the road (the third one we ran in to).  Thankfully, God had sent two guys back to back who not only knew each other, but who had all the equipment needed to attempt to pass.  Cade lifted the tree for them to get through, and when it came time for us...our car started spinning and we went in to a ditch (and got a nice dent in the bumper of our car too!)

The guy helloing us had a rope to pull us out, and Cade backed backwards down the mountain.  The snow was falling heavy, the trees were cracking, and we were praying we wouldn't slide off the mountain.

It was pretty scary!

Thankfully, there was another, safer way without big mountains to slide off of.

It wasn't easy, but we made it home-gosh, I can't even remember what time now.  Midnight-ish?!

Truly, once we made it to TN things were much better road condition wise.

It wasn't hard to get the kiddos bedded down for the night & I was desperate to get everything finished so I could go to sleep myself.  

Christmas morning came quickly.  The boys ran in to our room (or maybe just Cam) I can't remember if Conley snuck in our room that night or not.  It's more often than not!  Haha:)

There was so much excitement!  The kind I had hoped we could sit & soak up😊  I heard one person say, they had asked their mom what her favorite memory was of them growing up & she had responded with "Christmas mornings."  I concur.  At least 8 years in to "mammon'", I do!  And this one was special in that we didn't have anywhere to rush off to, we had a cozy breakfast with hot coffee & homemade cinnamon rolls (Where Conley lost his first tooth!), the kids just got to enjoy their new toys in their pj's all day and the snow never ceased.  It was truly a Christmas miracle snow & I couldn't get over it, or the thought that I may never see a Christmas like this again!  

It was even better, because Christmas actually got extended since we had to postpone our Christmas with our families.  We got to make a much safer drive two days later & it was such a great time together.

For New Years, our friends we never see came from NC and brought their kids.  On NYE, we went to have breakfast together before they came(which I claim has become a little tradition-Cade doesn't remember anything...lol.  But we have the past couple of years & I love it).  And to end it, went grocery shopping with our circus.  I get some sick pleasure of watching Cade sweat it out as they go nuts while we are trying to cross off everything off our list. Any other moms?  Haha:)

I know I am going to have my belly hurting from laughter and good food when these guys show up, and it did NOT disappoint.  They are a HOOT.  AND we had crab legs, prime rib, pasta, Red Velvet Cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory.  It was seriously too much food and Idk why we always do that to ourselves🤪

Wait, yes I do.  It's delicious.

We made it until Midnight, but didn't turn on the tv until like one minute before the ball dropping.  Did you make it??!

For the first year of my life, I could have cared less what was going on in NYC on NYE.  It's always been a tradition to watch, but I think 2020 has changed me with the culture we live in.  I just don't watch the news or anything related to live TV if I can help it.  

I can't believe the holidays are over & here we are trudging in to January of 2021.  Despite it's shaky beginnings, (I heard someone refer to it as 2020 with bangs😂🙈) I'm determined to think of it in terms of my family, friends, and God's placement of us in to this crazy place time.  We will make it through with his guiding hand, friends!

Much love 💕

2020 Me, It's Not Who I Want to Be

 It's okay to feel sad.

If we purpose in our hearts to do anything right now, it should be to be kind to one another.  We never know the battle another is facing.  We all could use the shove to get out of our personal bubbles & better understand what the majority of people are facing.  Unemployment.  Businesses shutting down.  Loss of a family member.  Never being able to leave home due to more shut downs.  Feeling a sense of dishonesty or as though our media is so in control of our beliefs & what we know (no matter what you believe!).  I don't want to get political AT all.  So I'm going to immediately stop there.   Adulting (no to mention being a kid, right?) in this year is HARD. And I want to admit I'm the first one to be selfish & only think of myself.  I've been praying & continue to pray that God would open my eyes.

I'm the type of person who my emotions are usually all over me OR I try to hide how I'm feeling.  I really don't know how to feel in November of 2020.  I know at this point of celebrating the holiday of Thanksgiving, I DO feel thankful.  Things can always be worse.  I can't help but look out at the country and feel a wave of sadness.  I look at my kids wearing masks out in public & feel heartbreak that this is the new normal. I feel devastation that it seems the drugs that my brother became addicted to & that led to his ultimate death are now being made less penalizing in some parts of our country.  I feel heartbreak that because my son went to football practice, he has basically been out of school for virtual learning for 3 weeks d/t direct contact with someone who tested positive for COVID (not that I don't think he should have to, just that it is what it is...).  I feel hopeless & helplessness to look out and see how people treat each other over differing opinions and beliefs & how they feel the need to lash out over EVERYTHING. 

But then I look at the little twinkle in my kids eyes, and I'm reminded everything will be & is okay. 

Somebody we know VERY well has the WHOLE WORLD in his hands.

I don't want to get all "basic" with referencing Joanna Gaines, but I like that lady.  She seems to be something special.  And while I'm surprised our society celebrates someone like her at this point (she goes to church), she always has a way of deeply tapping in to the best emotions through her social media posts and magazine articles.   Just this month, she put up a picture of herself as a little girl & said something along the lines of -if I ever feel lost, I look back to that little girl and find the purest form of who I am.

All to say, the world needs you to be who you are.

I thought about this...

Most people will tell you that you "find yourself" as you age.  While I see that perspective, I also think, in my personal experience that I've lost more of myself as I've aged.  I get so lost in achieving what I think "success" in a worldly standard is-that I forget what I'm really here for.  The simple things.  That robs us of a lot of joy.  I know I'm WAY more focused on superficial things because of the world we live in.

As a child, we are untainted by the worlds views & expectations.  Made only of God's creativity & I imagine fueled and fired to go with his purpose for our lives.  We know no other way to "be" than to be ourselves.  At the age of 7 and 5 (and let's even go so far as 1) my kids are still at those precious ages.  I have began to see Cam's friends rubbing off on him & he is starting to form a new sense of self based upon their thoughts and opinions & what they think is "cool."  He's been teased a couple times over this or that (as all kids are)- I remember those days, do you? And it is shaping what he thinks about all the things.  It makes me sad, but my prayer is that one day he can look back at 5 year old Cam and remember what a cool, unique, & amazing person God created him to be.  May we all be able to rummage through our parents things or our old scrapbooks & find an old picture (most that I've found aren't the best quality but they do the job!) to remember ourselves in our purest forms.

What mattered back then?  How did you see people back then?  Treat them?  How did you view God (if you knew of Him?). What respect did you have for older people?  What brought you joy?  What did you worry about? 

I think of my Conley.  PURE CONLEY.  And doesn't care.  Unashamed.  Other people are wild if they don't believe or think the way he does-but he listens interestingly to their thoughts and bops along unbothered by a difference.  Not to say that we should think anyone's weird, I hope you get what I am trying to say.  He doesn't care what other people think about him, he is proud of who HE IS.  He has no other knowledge or experiences to tell him otherwise at that point. He sees the world in black and white-it is what it is and he sees the best of the situations. The world needs more of our 5 year old selves minus the temper tantrums🙃.  More purest forms of who God made us to be before we let society get in & try to control & make us into what they want us to be.  

Remember who you are!  Remember who God created you to be and get back to living out that 5 year old self with God's person!

Go find a child & hang out with them for a minute or two for a new perspective and sense of self.  

It will do some good❤️

Much love,

Here Comes The Month of Thanks🍁

 Happy November, friends.

I don't know about you, but after all the craziness the election has brought, I have a feeling this year could end even more crazy than it began.  That being said, despite all that's going on in the world today, I can't help but look to God in thanks for all He has done.  He has given our country mercy & grace (and me personally) for countless years.  So incredibly blessed!  I've missed out on writing about a lot of important things lately, so thought I'd catch up a bit today-they emphasize even more the reasons I should count my blessings.

1. Conley's Fifth Birthday

It was the sweetest day, the cutest mini party, for the most adorable little boy (if I do say so myself).  Con, my middle, whom has always gotten the label of being the wild child 🤪, has grown SO much in the past year.  I CANNOT believe he is five.  I can't stress enough to a new mama or daddy at how FAST their little lives fly by.  Don't miss a moment.  It always leaves me teary to think about it.  But, I absolutely adore seeing them grow.  Conley's teacher continuously brags about his big heart.  There is not a touchdown or trophy this boy could bring home, that would thrill my heart more than to hear something like that.  I'm so proud of him!  I'm not going to lie, I've been concerned about his school life from the time he learned to talk🤣

Also, before his party, Con had a football game...& they won!  What a good excuse for a First Watch breakfast!  It was a great morning❤️

Funny story about his birthday: mom, my voice hasn't changed yet.  (*for DAYS he had asked if he would "talk like daddy" one day, & I've said, "I don't know...Maybe!" not knowing that this is something he assumed would happen on his 5th birthday😂).  ONLY CONLEY!

2. Baker, 11 & 12 months

somewhere along the way I forgot to finish her milestone posts.  I put it in her baby book...but not here!  So here goes...

whats new...(or not so new!)

LOVES

Tepper & Eloise.  Her baby dolls.  Opening everything <she can screw and unscrew lids>, going outside-especially to swing and take the dogs for a potty break, going for rides <most of the time...>, riding in shopping carts <she has started kicking her legs when she see's one>  Don't let this fool you though, she gets bored after a few minutes😬.  Talking.  Baths.  Toliet Paper. Toliets😝 Playing in the trash (she drops her baby dolls <and many other things in> & says "Uh oh!"😖. Playing in the dog dishes.  Taking the batteries out of everything (especially remotes).

HATES

When someone tries to hold her hand or stop her from going up or down stairs <or anything dangerous for that matter>, strollers-unless it's her baby strollers-then she has started kicking them out so we will push her in them, not been much a fan of eating these past two months.  Doctors offices.  Diaper changes.  Well, she basically dislikes anything where it appears she is not in charge.  

play & cognitive development

Walks & runs everywhere!

Can feed herself with spoon/fork.

Squats, stands, & carries big things around.

Always a baby doll in her arm!

Loves on the dogs at all times.  

Giggle box

new words I can remember right now in this moment #strugglebus: uh oh, thank you

eat

She hasn't been eating much table food lately-she loves to feed the dogs.  We started doing the pouches again at MDO because she wasn't eating anything I packed.  Her doctor said it was fine (obviously she's not wasting away😂).  I can't remember the boys going through spells like this!

sleep

Usually 1-2 naps a day.

Sleeps through the night, most nights. 

sibling love

She loves her brothers, but she is not a fan of the rough housing.  They've started a new game called "Bakie Cena" (they are obsessed with "John Cena" for whatever reason), & Conley pretend fights with her while Cam "helps her."  Don't worry.  They are monitored & it ends quickly😂. I will say, if they aren't paying attention to her she is NOT happy.

3.  Spiritual Gift Talk

  Lately, I've really been praying and thinking about my spiritual gifts.  I feel like I'm not doing anything for God right now & it eats at me.  I found this spiritual gifts quiz & found it a little helpful at giving some perspective about the things I'm good at that can be used for Him-here is the link if you too are interested.

I scored the highest with "exhortation."  Basically, encouraging others.  I can see that as being a passion of mine & I think it's something I do, but I also see how Satan stops me from doing it.  

When tragic things happen, I am scared to talk to the people going through those situations.  SCARED.  I never know what to say or what to do, so sometimes I don't say anything or if I do, I make a mess of words.  After losing my brother, I came to find that just knowing someone is acknowledging they know you are going through a hard time, they love you and are praying for you, DOES WONDERS.  I always thought it might make things worse to say something like that, like it was just what everyone said-and it wouldn't make that person feel better.  BUT IT DOES.  

When someone treated it like it didn't happen, it hurt.  It hurt really bad.  Pray for me to be brave so that I can use this spiritual gift in good days and in the bad.  I don't want to be afraid to encourage another person when they really need it.  I could do better on writing encouraging things here, too!  That is my prayer.

Also, just volunteering more.  I"m challenging myself (and you too) to look at your church bulletin or a volunteer organization in your community & getting involved in something new.  I know it's hard with COVID & all right now, but we've got to keep moving forward.  In a world that is rejecting Jesus more & more-we have GOT to be untied & be the body of Christ at work.

4.  Fall Apologies

  I didn't even share any fall decorations or share the results of my survey, & for that, I'm sorry!  Not that it was picture-worthy, I just said I 'd do it👻  I've just not been with it this year.  I guess 2020, three kids, & trying to keep it all together has run it's toll on me!  I will try to do better.

5.  Halloween 2020

BEFORE HALLOWEEN:

Conley's pajama party/Halloween party at MDO🎃. I did a terrible job of pictures of Cam & Baker.  These were pictures his teacher sent <these mornings when I get them all three ready AND am at work by 8 AM are C R A Z Y!  And I barely survive lol>

I do have this from a video I took while she was eating breakfast...

I had to take a picture of how cute Baker's bag was!  She has the sweetest (& most creative) teachers💕. I'm WAY better at evening pictures😂

Halloween Eve Eve-carve our half rotten pumpkins😆. 

Baker, mad because we won't let her jump off the porch.  She's gonna be a fun one in the upcoming years!

Oh, it was a perfect Halloween day!  We were the Griswolds this year (something I always knew we'd be because AUNT BETHANY).  We let the boys change into what they "wanted" to be, <I hear it from Cam every year how he didn't want to dress up with us anymore💔-he did agree to take a picture & play dress up for a minute as Clark>

The boys had a neighbor friend tag along, & for the first year ever, they were confident enough to walk up & "Trick or Treat!" by themselves.  Baker on the other hand wanted NO part in wearing her cat head.  She swarped at it like she does her hair bows.  She didn't want anyone to hold her hand, did NOT want to leave a Halloween display in someones yard, & wanted to run on the pavement everywhere we went until she piled it up.  Never shedding a tear, getting back up & going again.  We finally had to strap her in her stroller because the boys were determined to go down every street. 😂. Now, if that Halloween candy doesn't magically disappear...

Wishing you all a very happy weekend!