Monday, August 24, 2015

Mommy, You're Fine!

Struggling with what to write about lately as we no longer have "a home" & because basically all I've been allowed to do lately is hang around the house on the couch or in the bed.  It's hard to decorate, unpack our moving chaos, make fun foods, or take any pictures while being bedridden hahaha.  Cam & I are both having a hard time getting used to the interruption of our everyday routines.  He asks me to carry him, "come on," dance, swing, & run on a daily basis.  A couple of days ago, he came to my side, took my hand, gave a hard tug & said, "Come on, Mommy!"  I explained to him that I couldn't-but man is he persistent!  "Come on, Mommy!"  He dropped my hand & said, "Come on, Mommy - you're FINE!  Laughing tears:')
If he only knew how it hurt me more than it did him to stay behind while he gets to run & play.  For once in my life, I am fully letting other people care for him & it kills me!  It feels like I am letting him down & not doing my job.  My favorite job.  But I want our baby to be okay.  I don't want to wish this pregnancy away & rush everything as I did during my first pregnancy.  Even in bed rest, I just want to enjoy the time of life we are in.  I know it will fly by so quickly & one day I will wish I could step back to these priceless moments of our life - I just wish Cade was with us!
I say so much of this in humor, as I am so blessed to be in a place where I am taken care of, & with those who will help me take care of Cam while being ordered to take it easy.  I am hoping & praying that by my appointment this Thursday, I will be able to return to everyday life.  Until then, we will just keep wearing frumpy sweat clothes, have messy hair, hang out in bed, watch Halloween movies, flip through the Halloween costumes & change our minds on what we will be everyday;)  And I AM going to enjoy it.