I want to write so bad.
But I never have the energy by the time I get all the kids to bed.
The past couple of years, I don't know if getting older has me second guessing all of my ideas, along with posting any picture, any thought, to the point that I drive my self crazy overthinking it all, aside from finding the time to actually "do it."
I'm lost in what I'm writing about anymore...
So today, I'm starting with a clean slate & just writing without any overthinking🤗
It's funny how as soon as I start tapping at way at the keys in the white box how I feel "home."
Thousands of warm memories flood my mind over the past almost 8 years of writing here.
Life has been hard enough lately (for all of us, I know), but, I can only speak for myself & I have to admit: I can honestly say it's been extra hard in my family.
And see. Here's the part where I want to say I know it could be worse, and be politically correct, as to make sure I cover all my bases in fear I sound a certain way or will sound self-pitying and I am going to STOP DOING THAT.
Thank you for understanding.
Life just doesn't make sense, but then, it's not supposed to. And that's okay.
I know the one who holds the day and tomorrow (and the day after that if we want to get technical) in his hands.
What do you all think about this pandemic? How are you handling the topics of racism? My husband has always laughed at me the way I see life in "rainbows and sprinkles" (in most aspects). I do have a "Debby Downer" attitude at times (which I hate!) but, for the most part, I don't think deep in to any issue. I like to think Jesus has lit a light in me to love people past the color of skin, opinions, life choices, differences-you name it. My mind just doesn't go there. I even have a hard time understanding it all. But I do understand this...It feels so heavy in the world right now. To get online and read & see all the arguments & hurtful words being carelessly tossed around on any side on an issue just pierces my heart.
Instead of scrolling that stuff, when I have a minute (HA) I find myself reading Jessica Simpsons "Open Book" (can't stop) or zeroing in on some of my favorite accounts that help me escape reality and enjoy seeing them with their "normal family mom duties" in everyday life. It feels like they are my little virtual friends😂. Am I right or starting to get psycho? Laughing. It gives me a sense of calm. I love to get outside for a good run or porch sit. I work out every time Baker takes a nap at least five times a week. This is my anxiety buster. Then, I eat everything in sight which totally cancels out that workout😂🙈. One day I'll get it right. Scarlett O'Hara is my girl.
"I'll think about that tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day."
I love getting lost in my "New Morning Mercies" devotion book & Bible early in the mornings & waiting for my mom to post a new page from my brothers Bible. I love how much God is nudging me to "be in the moment" these days & cherish this exclusive time I'm getting to be with my family. I enjoy my new ability to grill. Ahhhh, does that not just make it feel like summer? The best.
I love turning the t.v. off & sitting in silence or listening to old music.
Takes me back to a simpler time without such multitasking and the "noise" we have in our world today.
God wants us to learn something about the time we are in.
What is it?
For me, I can't get over how, no matter what has happened at this halfway point in the year,
I have been able to channel peace only he can give.
Joy, only He can give.
It's truly from another world and unexplainable.
It let's me know this world isn't my home. And for once in "my human life," I've become more tolerant of that knowledge and less scared of the unknown.
Less like Scarlett, (I'll think about it tomorrow...) in that, I think I'll let that though stay with me today.
All of these mask wearing, wild & crazy, 2020 days.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27
It sounds like you and I are a lot alike! I tend to think the same way, like it will be ok, don't worry about it! haha But I also just trust that the Lord is in charge and knows what he is doing. There just really isn't anything we can do about it other than just believe in him and know our ultimate home is not here on this earth.
Girl, I wish we lived close! I could use all the girls with this mindset surrounding me:)
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