Mama Said They'd Be Days Like This...

I have a confession to make.

Somedays I wake up wondering: "
what happened to the two angel baby boy's that I brought home from the hospital???"

Those sweet faces I share on Facebook or post on instagram.  Friends, sometimes I feel like such a failure in life or the worst parent in the world after I spend a day at home with them or take them out somewhere.

WHO ARE YOU TWO??

They used to give me the biggest gummy grin just by giving them a high pitched, "hey, baby!"  They would cry just to be close to me, sit and snuggle, or just stare and smile at me. They didn't have to be entertained 24/7 & all they wanted was to be held or loved on.

Now, it's what can you buy me?  What can you do for me?  Take me here, give me that, go away now.

And they're not even close to being teenagers!  They are 2 and 4!

Their number one hobby is to fight...  Punching.  Pinching.  Scratching.  
And stealing each other toys.  Throwing nail polish in my face (see below).

If I say "don't do that please," they cut their eyes, the evil grinch grin grows on their face, and they will do it or die just to see my reaction and what I will do.

Favorite words Mama tells them NOT to say:  Poopy head.  I hate you.  It's dead.  OR Oh my God. Whatever they can find that will hurt my feelings, upset me, or that will put them in the position of punishing them-they are all over it.

I let them do or have one thing, they forget it the next minute when they see something else they want to do and when I say no...  all they remember is that I said "No."

And I've assisted in making them that way.  And if there is anything in this world that will make you feel like less of a person, it's to see your children act in such a way.  All those days of "well, I will make my kids do this...or my kids will do that..."  The days when you envision your kids always listening, behaving perfectly, & doing as you say...Those days laugh in your face.  (Or mine anyway!)

This reminded me of something.

A long long time ago, God created two of the most perfect things he'd ever created.  And, by considering what he did for all of us by allowing his son to die on the cross for our sins, I'd say he loved them more than he had ever loved anything else in the world but more.  A love we can only come close to experiencing through our own children.  But the minute they took that apple, God's heart was hurt.  His children had chosen sin, over choosing to do what was right.  Before choosing the path he knew was best for them.

You know what?  I mirror my kids behavior every single stinkin day...I do these things E V E R Y D A Y to my Heavenly Father.  I hurt him by not making to time read my Bible, or by turning on a tv show or logging on to my computer instead of talking to him.  I pray about something, desiring to lay it down at his feet, but pick it up again & try to "fix it" myself.  He blesses me with one thing or answers a prayer, & I go along asking for the next thing before a thank you hits my lips.  

And at some point, you know he's like, "Cassidy!  Just let me take it from here!  Just listen to me!  Why can't you just listen & know that I know what's best?!"  It would be nice for you to just be content at some point in your life.  It would be nice for a thank you.  Those spills & accidents pictured above are exactly what I create so many times in my life when I try to carry my own burdens and load or when I think I know whats best or what prayer He needs to answer.  

I'm one of those people that think God has a sense of humor.

Wait, I know he does by the two funny little humans that he blessed me to raise.  

I just pray that when he speaks to me through little seasons of life such as this, I listen!  And I hope I'm more sensitive to the fact that, in those moments that I feel unloved, taken advantage of, or like a broken record nobody listens to...I will be sure to check up & make sure that I've not made my Heavenly Father feel that same way!   And even in the times that I break His heart, He finds a way to forgive me & provides a fresh new start...

What an example to a mommy in the trenches of motherhood!💞
Happy Monday, sweet friends.