SOCIAL MEDIA

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Second Guessing + Sleepless Nights

Vulnerability.
This post is it.  Occasionally pouring out my heart to strangers, & friends alike, since the day I start this blog.  Totally not me.  Totally not comfortable.  Or what I planned for it to be.  But here we are.
 
I don't know exactly why I feel compelled to share this...but I don't think I can keep on with this blog until I get all this off my mind & out of my heart.
I am ambitious by default.
My mother has always went at every interest or passion she had or that sparked, full throttle.
Pedal to the metal...sometimes playing the game with no prior knowledge or preparation as to how to win- and what to do should you win or lose.
 
In some ways I find this quality exciting and a positive distraction from the often daunting journey each dream requires of it's dreamer.  In others, it can be overwhelming, disheartening, & even frustrating when you always have such high hopes for things you start or do... only to allow feelings of defeat overcome you when things don't always go as planned or the way you'd hoped they would.
 
I find myself chasing after so many things I want to be the best I can be at, all at one time, only to feel like I fail at them all. 
Christ centered & serving.  Motherhood.  Marriage.  Work.  Interests & hobbies.
Maybe it's attributable to "too many irons in the fire?"
Whatever the reason...
 
It causes me to battle with feelings of inadequacy or quitting everything in one way or another, even if it's for a second or so.  Just to clarify...I say this in regard to motherhood & marriage as in...forget naps-it's too hard to fight the whiny, or forget trying to get my family all under one roof, I'll just learn to deal with the cards we've been given.  Even considering never trying anything new & just doing the expected things every human being is required to do to "exist."
And then I snap out of it & those ambitions set in again.
 
Don't call a mental health specialist yet, friends...
 although I probably DO need one ~ in no disrespect & all seriousness... Ha!
 
At least three nights this week I went to sleep (aside from worry about a family member)  determined to quit this blog, wondering how in the world we would "figure out" our lives before Cam goes to Kindergarten next year & how I will deal with how fast my two are growing up on me. 
<<in the midst of all the real problems going on in the world, I know- I eyeroll myself, too>>
 
Do you ever have weeks like that, though?  It's when faith has to kick in + soul searching with my Heavenly Father comes in to play, to get you through & get out of that funk & figure out how to handle everything gracefully.
 
Why do I do the things I do?  Why do I devote my time & attention to these things & how do I prioritize their importance in my life?  How can I avoid second guessing + sleepless nights of worry?
 
Take this blog for example as the most light hearted worry mentioned.  It's not that I think I am going to be a big time blogger that has thousands of followers.  Or that I think I'm an expert in any topic I ramble about.  I genuinely love to write.  I love an outlet to share my family along with creative endeavors as a way to share what I initially wanted to do for a living (interior design) before realizing I had to find something that would help to support a family. 
 
From this example, I continually worry someone will view my intentions are vain & selfish.
 
And then I realize, at the end of the day, through the mental battle of whether I should continue or not...who cares?  REALLY.  No one has to read.  No one has to care.  This is my space.  A space where I write about the people & things I love.  I make it into a huge deal & it's not! 
 
I did all this babbling to say...
Ambition.
Admirable quality or curse, I inherited it.
 
I wanted to share something real with you.  I love all the light hearted chatter for the most part, but it's not all a highlight reel.
 
And something in me this week told me I can use my sleepless-second guessing week for the good.  If God knitted the inmost of my being, he knitted this quality of ambition in me, too.  With his guidance + a size of mustard seed faith...I know that I just have to put it all in his hands & put my blinders on to the frustration + doubt I experience along the way.
Friday, August 11, 2017

Friday Favorites || 8.11.17

Lately, Cam has really become the master of interpreting one year old language.
Conley is really good at talking right now, but every now & then, there's the occasion where we look at him like what???  He's usually very persistent, & repeats himself over & over...AND over again.  But if he wasn't doing that, he'd be saying something else.  You guys, we have two children who never shut up from the minute they open their eyes to when they shut them.  All I know is they take after their daddy!  
Cam typically steps in:  "What he's saying is...blah blah blah." 
 Annnnnd 9 times out of 10 he is usually right...๐Ÿ˜‚

He's been helping Conley say the prayer & last night he was at dinner prompting Conley to repeat him.  
"Conley, say Dear Lord" 
Conley: "Dear Lerd"
"Conley, Say sank you for our trespasses..."
At least they're getting the gist of it...right??๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ˜œ
They are something else these days.  
I had to share that.  Now, to Friday Favorites!  Can you guys believe summer break is already coming to an end?  It always goes by at warp speed...

one.  favorite kid products
It's a tie between Sleepize & these reusable swim diapers! 
 I've been using both these products this beach trip, and it's so nice to not be having to keep stock of MORE(๐Ÿ˜ฑ) diapers or dealing with rashes that come with wet skin rubbing that diaper material.  This little swim diaper has been so nice!  And it was on clearance at the actual store for 6.99 rather than 9.99๐Ÿ˜˜

  I'm also excited to share, that after experimenting all summer (DRUM ROLL PLEASE) with the best oils for sleep in our house...Sleepize + cedar wood have to be considered my children's own personal sweet dream potion:)  
I think I'll even make a linen/pillow spray with it next week!  
To learn more about Young Living oils & how you can use them in your home and with your family, don't be afraid to send me a message guys! 
I won't just hook you up, but I will be there with you to help you make the most of your oils๐Ÿ˜‰

two.  favorite laugh
We were in for a few hours yesterday due to stormy weather, so we filled our time with funny stuff.  This right here cracked.us.up!  My little brother & I totally have a picture just like this...to be back in the 90's, y'all.

three.  favorite sweet treat
RUN, don't walk to Target!  They have the Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkin Cups out!๐Ÿ˜

four.  favorite back to school things
My focus is all on bed routines (as I've worked the whole summer on making that better for us).  I found this little graphic on Pinterest helpful for myself (as I really need to make the most of my early mornings rather than late nights) as well as these organizational tips.  Cam is going on year two of his little dragon backpack & I love it because of it's size (perfect for Pre-Kers and durability;)  He has the smaller version!  When he's not in school, he crams it full of toys & carries it everywhere as well๐Ÿค“

five.  favorite devotional
I am halfway through this book now, & every devotion resonates so well with me.  I love how I never brush off having some Jesus time d/t "not having time", & though short, the punch is powerful.  I highly recommend this for mamas:)
Wishing you all a wonderful weekend!



Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Photo (or two) Every Hour || Beach Day 8.8.17

We are having such a great time being together on vacation!  
Here's a day full of memories to look back on one day... 
 A day in the life - summer of 2017๐Ÿ˜Ž

5 am
Up & at it!  Planning family things needed before school starts/capsule wardrobe for all family members/blog/work planning.  R e a l l y trying to embrace the portion of Proverbs 31 when it says, "She gets up while it is still night" and "She sets about her work vigorously."  I fail miserably at this in general, but there is a fresh school year upon us, right?

6 am
Finally, light to read the word!  Nothing like reading the bible by the ocean with a good cup of coffee!๐Ÿ˜

7 am
Good company waking' up!  The Mr.'s allergic reaction has made a turn for the worst๐Ÿ˜ข  He's heading to urgent care.  For some reason he wanted to go alone๐Ÿ’๐Ÿป

8 am
Breakfast with the brothers๐Ÿ’™

9 am
Let's head to the sunshine!

10 am
Little brother is just too sweet today...
CHEEEEEEESE!

11 am
Lunch & the ever unpopular...nap time 

12 pm 
The Mr. finally came back with meds & bad news.  He ended up with an infection from the allergic reaction:/  No sun for him today.  He fell asleep with the boys & (though not good circumstances) I went to the pool ALONE.  Not happened since before I got married 7 years ago!  HOW. DO. I. DO. THIS?

1 pm
My Dad joined & shares everyone is still sleeping.  So much for peace and quite.  He looks like Sparky Polasky (Bring It On choreographer?  Anyone?) in his all black jeans, shirt, and work boots sitting by the pool at the beach.  All while playing his favorite song, "Made in Japan," from HeeHaw at top notch volume, while everyone at the pool glares.  
Maybe I'll go check on the boys...๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™ˆ

2 pm
Boys STILL sleeping!  #thankyouoils
Hubs is up & ready to do something...so naturally-we go to get our
(car)oil changed + to mail eBay happy mail ๐Ÿ˜‰
#capsulewardrobehereIcome

3 pm
Boys are finally UP!
Bieber jams + getting ready for early dinner๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ

4 pm
Dinner @ Dee's Hang Out ๐Ÿ˜›
Mock bang bang shrimp for the win๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿผ

5 pm
Rollar skating is a logical idea...right?  Camster lasted 5 minutes.  
He looked like a new born deer learning to walk๐Ÿ˜‚...
Buh-BYE 30 buckaroos๐Ÿ˜
On the bright side, we all got super cool white socks...

6 pm
We totally redeemed ourselves with the arcade...(for all three boys๐Ÿ˜)
*Until Cam walked out crying because we weren't going to go bowling or go ride go carts next.  ๐Ÿ™„

7 pm
Winding down with a drawing session, which is becoming quite the favorite thing around here✍๐Ÿฝ "Draw Josie!"  is Conley's favorite request (Papa's cat๐Ÿฑ RIP)

8 pm
Turn on the "confuser" (aka Cam's interpretation of "diffuser") & diffuse the Sleepize, 
it's time for a good nights rest!
MOM AND DAD, TOO!
✌๐Ÿผ
What??  Judge us hard, y'all   Skate one lap around the rink with a 70ish lb 4 year old on your arm & chase a one year old around an arcade for an hour, & you'd sleep like another person's baby, too!